But the Super Bowl..aka”the big game”

January 28, 2013

He was all ready for the Big Game.


But what was wrong here….something is NOT RIGHT!


Who shrunk the Television?

Paladin decided to get to the bottom of the mystery.

It seems that Mrs. G took it upon herself to order new, untested remote controls which apparently damaged the plasma TV.  What follows is as close to an accurate transcription of her conversation with customer service as we are likely to get.

CS: Good afternoon, how may I help you?

Mrs. G.: You sold me this POS TV, and now it is BROKE!

CS:Calm down, you don’t have call to get snippy with me. What exactly is the problem?

Mrs.G.:My TV don’t work.

CS:Why didn’t you say that in the first place.  That problem is not covered our settlement of the class action lawsuit, you are on your own, and will have to pay for extensive, expensive repairs. Ha ha ha.

Mrs.G.:What lawsuit?

CS:I did not say anything about the lawsuit, what lawsuit, are you some sort of nut!

Mrs.G. finally got them to agree to fix it, but will it get done in time for the “BIG GAME”!



Crashin’ the Creche

January 3, 2013

It seems such a long time ago now…..New Pumpkinny was still in his prime then

In a fair world I would win fer sher

He had a dream, a dream of Christmas……to celebrate in Rome with the Pope…..to bring toys to all the little girls and boys…..

But time was catching up on our little squashoid……He did get a sleigh and a bag of toys, but would he last long enough to fulfill his dreams…


Not lookin’ to good

He was going to need some help

A** pumpkinaps Newpumpkinny

A** pumpkinnaps Newpumpkinny


He is Here


‘Twas the night before the night before Christmas, when all through the house,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
That was because none of the family was there.
They had set on their way to do something quite rare.

Pumpkiny had been nestled all snug in his sleigh,
But on this night before the night before Christmas, ‘twas time for his play.
Daughter in her cancer cap and Momma behind the wheel,
The two fair ladies buckled in and departed with a peel.

Another daughter donned a mask, Father paced the floor.
When Momma called from down the road, they jetted out the door.
The gals had gone and cased the joint, and oh, did it look fine:
Not a soul was at the church when, now, the clock struck nine.

Out on the porch there arose such a clatter,
And though they knew exactly what was the matter,
Father and daughter went out in the cold
To find their dear pumpkin, all covered in mold.

‘Twas Pumpkiny! He was the one making the noise!
Rustling around with his bag full of toys.
He was so, so excited for his voyage the first.
For it, his gently rotted eyes seemed to thirst.

He jumped, and he squealed, or he tried to, at least,
The lovable Pumpkiny, his leather now creased.
“I’m going to church!” he’d have exclaimed had he voice,
“For Christmas Eve, to help the congregation rejoice!”

The daughter lifted Pumpkiny, forgoing a kiss,
Though she knew his company she later would miss.
She cradled him tight, then set him in the truck bed.
The two hopped in the front, and, wishing for luck, fled.

Would they help him be freed? Would there be room in the creche?
Beside Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus’ manger, would there be space for rotting flesh?
They parked the truck, and only seconds passed,
Before their kin arrived and Pumpkiny was ready at last.

They jumped out of the truck without looking around.
There was no time; they must rush, lest they be found.
Running with Pumpkiny in his Santa beard and cap,
They placed him softly in the grass for his long winter’s nap.

“Go! Go!” Pumpkiny would have urged, again, if he could have spoken,
So the family members quickly switched cars, their hearts broken.
Was it right? Was it fair? They felt their resolve weaken.
Pumpkiny was supposed to be their Christmas beacon.

But once at home, when the third fair maiden wanted to see,
The whole family piled into the car, parents and daughters three.
And when they saw the scene again, Pumpkiny sitting in the night,
They knew in their hearts that what they’d done was exactly right.

Pumpkiny looked perfect! He lit up that lawn!
He’d be there all Christmas, or at least ‘til the dawn.
The manger incomplete without a bright orange sleigh,
Now the congregation truly could pray.

It was then that they realized the true meaning of love:
To let go when it’s right, to share grace from above.
Pumpkiny only decayed on their porch for a second,
But truly he’d be with them much longer, they reckoned.

Pumpkins a Plentee

November 19, 2012

This year the pumpkin decorating (formerly known as the pumpkin carving contest, but this was considered by some (Mrs. G.) as too violent), was only lightly attended.  Plans had been made for a record attendance of over one thousand entrants.  Port-a-potties had been ordered, but…….noooooooo, only two, excepting Mr. and Mrs. G.,  showed up for the event.  The winner of last year’s contest thought that she could sail through with a crude rendition of Columbus’s journey to the new world.

Nice try J****

Mrs. G. was too aloof, or too scared, to enter in exhibition, which any shako wearing person knows that the host can only compete as, but Mr. G. is (almost never) not scared and  entered his hand carved (oblivious to the pain of the pumpkin) in exibition.

In a fair world I would win fer sher

The real winner, other than the world, was J***, whose carved likeness of Steven Colbert wowed the judges.(he is a Cable TV starBTW).

Notice the trademark upraised eyebrow!

It is fine to have  a contest as trivial as this, but we must consider the little people.


Some people take a disaster as an opportunity to promote their desire to become a news personality.

others help the needy


it is up to you

plan to enter next year…..please….we are desperate


July 30, 2012


G-force central received a request from ultimate daughter for assistance crafting a chess set.  She would make the pieces………


J-Dog- “Can you make me the board, Daddy?”

J-Dog-“oh yeah, and another thing, it better be good, and it better have storage for the pieces, or I will hold my breath…….

G-Dog-Can’t you just use construction paper or something easy like that?



April 23, 2012


The planet we call Earth


On Earth day,the Earth is elevated above all other “inferior” planets.  Here at Goatyblog central, we do not look down  on  the other planets, or even lowly asteroids.


April 1, 2012


No Freakin’ Way

Saint Patrick’s Day in Rhode Island

March 17, 2012

ImageFinally it is again that famous day celebrating the man who drove the snakes from Ireland. (The newspaper photo above is of Ireland)

  Here at Goatyblog, we encourage and celebrate stereotypes…..

ImagePatience is required…..wait for the foam to subside…as long as it takes, as long as it does not take too long.

ImageWorth the wait.

Now the Irish triple wick candle of Moher is lit

ImageNow off with the bride to drink to excess….ImageCheck this out

Pumpkins being decorated

October 23, 2011

It is finally time for the annual Pumpkin decorating contest,  and this year, being the inaugural one, is no different than usual.  Children spend hours preparing for the big day.

This is difnecultThe entries this year were much better than usual, and the judges more picky than ever.


Judge for yourself:










L-dog’s Graduation=Memorial Day Combo

June 4, 2011

I must be thinking something

Mr. & Mrs. G-blog’s penultimate daughter has graduated from college, where girls go to gain knowledge.

sparsely attended graduation?

I must be thinking something

Lots of work is involved…

Mods must be scoured clean…

what a mess!

let's clean up later

parties must be held…

under-age drinking?

gone hollywood?

lining up for margaritas

One of the best things about graduation………………….Father his day presents

such as this one here.

Easter Someday or “Reflections on Easter”

April 29, 2011

A lovely, loving day was had this past Easter, or mais correctly, Pasqua Sunday at casa de G-blog.  These days, in our times, the greatest danger in celebrating Easter is a bellyache from too much candy.  But disturbing news reports from China tell a different story….which can be found here.

This allows G-stranomus to make one of his few predictions.  In a strange historical redux, some future leader of China will become a Christian and make Christianity the state religion, much as Constantine so many years back……..you heard it hear first